


Everybody Knows (Except Them)

by impulserun



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impulserun/pseuds/impulserun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 times Jedediah and Octavius (well, mostly Jedediah) were oblivious, much to the pain of everyone around them, and 1 time they finally wised up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Knows (Except Them)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [众所周知（除了他俩）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4354178) by [Chlokers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chlokers/pseuds/Chlokers)



**4.**

It’s Octavius’ turn to pick up the groceries. This is normal. It’s a sign that the roommate contract they drew up when they first moved in together is still intact. Simple things, like keeping Octavius out of the kitchen (unless he’s baking) so that they all live to see another day, or steering clear of Jed’s room during finals week because he’s likely to bite your head off, even little things like doing their laundry in separate loads. It’s a well-oiled system that they pride themselves upon.

So yes, it’s Octavius’ turn to pick up the groceries. The thing about today, though, is that Octy’s pay check came in last week. Which means, probably, that he’s going to pick up something extra just because. The last time it was a tub of ice cream to celebrate the end of finals week. The time before that, Jed had gone with him, and together they’d managed to scrounge up enough money to indulge in a cake.

He wonders what he’ll bring home this time.

When the tell-tale jingle of Octavius’ keys in the lock rings through the house, Jedediah is already lounging on the floor in the living room.

“Hey,” he grins, clambering up the sofa to artfully drape himself over the back of their couch. “How’d shopping go?”

“Great!” Octavius kicks the door closed behind him, hands preoccupied with balancing a multitude of bags from one store or another. “In fact,” he adds, lips quirking up in a smile, “guess what was on sale at the department store!”

The brunet takes a moment to drop off several bags of groceries on the table, then turns to rifle through a separate bag. He turns around, grinning widely in that puppy dog way of his, to reveal two bundles of fabric wrapped in plastic.

“Kitten pyjamas!”

Jedediah blinks once, twice, then stretches out his hands and makes grabby motions. “Gimme.”

As it turns out, Octavius has the best taste in PJs _ever_. He doesn’t think he’s ever had sleeping clothes this comfy.

*

The silence that settles on the party is tense, and palpable.

“Um,” says Amelia.

“What?” asks Jed, rolling up the sleeves of his well-worn pyjama shirt. Behind him, Octavius has emerged from the bathroom in a matching set, red where Jed’s own PJs are blue, with black cats gambolling about instead of white.

“ _Um_ ,” says Amelia again.

“ _What_?”

“Matching pyjamas…? You’re wearing matching pyjamas?”

“What’s wrong w’that?” he counters.

“They were on sale,” Octy beams, sitting down on his left with a plop. “Why Amelia, did you want a set too? I can tell you where I got them –”

“Oh, no thank you, Octavius, I’m fine.”

Attila mutters dubiously under his breath.

“Attila, that’s not very nice,” comes Ahk’s voice from the kitchen. “I don’t know what Jed and Octavius did, but you can’t just call them –” Presently, he turns the corner and comes into view, arms laden down with bowls of varied snacks.

Ahkmenrah freezes. Stares at them for all of five seconds. Then he turns and walks back into the kitchen, grumbling all the while about ‘not having enough alcohol to put up with this bullshit’.

*

**3.**

“I’m too _hot_ ,” Jedediah whines.

“Hot damn,” mutters Octavius absentmindedly, turning over a page in his book. Jedediah picks up the nearest object at hand – a cushion from the sofa – and lobs it in the direction of his roommate’s face.

“Octyyyy,” he whines again, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Put me outta my misery. _I’m beggin’ you_.”

There’s an amused huff of a laugh, then his roommate is picking up his phone and sending off a series of rapid fire texts.

“Let’s go down to the ice cream place opposite the dog park,” he says at last. “Ahk’s probably going to be there, that’s a maybe on Amelia – okay,” he amends, looking back down at his phone, “that’s a no on Amelia – but anything’s better than watching you stew in your misery.”

Jedediah perks up, just a little. “The Ben & Jerry’s?”

“You know the one.”

“Marry me, Octavius,” he sighs happily. Octavius turns a faint shade of pink.

“I would if I could, Jed,” he deadpans, “but it’s illegal.”

*

Ten minutes of torture and an ice cream cone later, Jedediah is slouched over the table in their booth, watching enviously as Octavius licks an errant drop of melted Blondie Ambition off his fingers.

Ahkmenrah fidgets uncomfortably.

“Oh, that’s fine, just pretend I’m not here,” he complains. “Why did you even ask me to come?”

Jed ignores him. Ahk has been acting kinda strange of late. Instead, he keeps his attention on Octavius, and asks, “Octy, can I have a bite of your ice cream?”

The brunet rolls his eyes. “What did I tell you about eating too fast?”

“I was _hot_ ,” he whines. (He seems to be doing a lot of that lately. Jedediah blames the heat.) “An’ lemme tell you, mint chocolate ice cream is mankind’s greatest invention. You can’t blame me for that.”

“Just buy another scoop of ice cream, Jedediah.”

“Too _far_.”

“The counter is _five steps away_.”

“You’re _closer_.”

“Oh my god,” Octavius mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” he adds, shoving the cone in his direction. “Here. But _only one bite_.”

Jedediah hums a victory song as he claims his prize. Their fingers brush together when he hands the cone back to Octavius; the latter grins almost shyly before turning back to his ice cream.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Ahkmenrah mutters. He grabs his cup of Cinnamon Buns ice cream and gets up to leave. “I’m taking my chances with the sun.”

*

**2.**

The door creaks open ever so slightly on its rusty hinges.

“Jedediah?” A voice calls uncertainly. “Are you awake?”

“Mmh?” Jedediah sits up in bed, pushing his warm comfy blanket back far enough to rub at sleep-fogged eyes. “Whussit? Octy?”

The room’s too dark for him to make out much detail just yet, but his ears pick out the sound of Octavius pushing the door open even further; then, as his eyes finally adjust to the darkness, he catches sight of his roommate hovering anxiously in the doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Central heating in my room’s broken,” he explains dolefully, shivering in his pyjamas. “Can I sleep here?”

“Wha – of _course_ – holy shit, it’s the middle of winter, get in here!”

Octavius doesn’t need to be told twice. He all but dives into his bed, scrabbling to get under the covers without letting the heat out. Jedediah bites back a curse when his cold, cold feet knock against his ankles.

“ _Fuck_ , Octy, you’re freezing! Why didn’t you come in earlier?”

“Didn’t wanna wake you,” he mumbles, burrowing deeper into the warmth of Jedediah’s bed. “’S late.”

“Next time just fuck that, jump on top of me if you have to. _Jeez_.” Jedediah shifts to make more room for the shivering brunet, eying his friend contemplatively. “If we cuddle, we can probably share body heat. C’mere.”

In response, Octavius smushes his face into the crook of his neck, letting out a blissful sigh as the heat seeps into his chilled bones.

The morning finds them curled around each other, Octavius limp and nuzzling into the skin of Jedediah’s neck, and Jed’s arms wrapped almost protectively around the former’s body. It’s warm, and comfortable. _Too_ comfortable, in fact. So comfortable that, when Jed’s alarm goes off at 7 in the morning, he simply switches his phone off and curls back to sleep, tugging Octavius and the blanket closer.

Hey, it’s Saturday. No law against his sleeping in.

“Oh my god, you guys,” says Ahk, when he finds them at noon (someday Jed will get his spare key back from the conniving Egyptian, but today is not that day), still wrapped up in Jed’s baby blue comforter. “ _Finally_.”

“Hnn?” says Jedediah, still half asleep. Octavius grumbles incoherently and tries to drag Jed back down into bed; Ahkmenrah barely stifles his squeal.

“I can’t believe it took you this long to figure things out –” there’s a flash of a camera going off, and this is what finally causes Octavius to stir – “oh my god, I have to tell Larry – and Sac ‘n Teddy – There will be _cookies_ –”

“Whuh?” groans Octavius, in his best imitation of a zombie. His hair is all mussed up and sticks up every which way; it’s kind of endearing, actually.

“Aw, go back to sleep, Octy.”

“Kay,” he mumbles, and drops right back off with a snore.

“Look at you,” Ahkmenrah coos. “All sleepy and cuddly. Like kittens. How _domestic_.”

Okay. Jedediah thinks he may be high.

“Okay, Ahk, I have no idea what you’ve been smoking, but – the heating in Octy’s room died last night, so by any chance d’you have a favour or two to call in with McPhee? Or do you know if Larry does, ‘cos like, if we don’t get it fixed soon Octy’s prolly gonna freeze –”

“Oh.” A pause. “So you’re not…?”

“Not what?”

A brief look of disappointment settles on his face. It’s a look Jedediah knows well. It’s the same look he wore throughout the entirety of _Age of Ultron_ ; the same look he put on at the Daley’s Christmas party last year when Nick spilt eggnog all over his pants, and the same look he had on when he opened his present later into the evening.

Without another word, he turns on his feet and strides out of the room.

“Do we still get Wea’s cookies?”

The front door slams shut with a resounding thud. Jedediah figures that’s a no.

*

A call to building management later in the day reveals that it’ll take at least a week for the problem with the heating to be fixed.

Well, what is he supposed to do? Let Octy freeze to death in his sleep?

*****

**1.**

Jedediah’s eyes narrow.

Who _is_ that guy?

The guy with the shaggy blond hair, the stubble and beard, the sky blue eyes and the _nose_.

The guy.

Who is talking.

To _Octavius_.

Okay, _look_ , now he’s making Octy _laugh_ , _seriously_ , who is he?

Jedediah seethes silently, jabbing his straw into his frappe with a vicious stab.

*

“Sorry, did you wait long?”

His roommate is so fucking chipper that Jedediah can’t even bring himself to be a dick.

“Nah, it’s fine,” he mutters. “Who was that guy, anyway?”

“Oh, that’s Lancelot Lakewood,” he mentions nonchalantly. “We worked together at the local Renaissance fair that one summer – he was on a jousting team, remember?”

No. Jedediah does _not_ remember.

“He just stopped to say hi,” Octavius continues, his cheeks notably pinker than before. “He’s, uh, going back to England at the end of the year. Wanted to know if he’d see me at the fair this year.”

His stomach churns and roils and something burns inside him. Jedediah feels _sick_. He might even have to throw up. Ugh. He’s never buying coffee from this lousy store ever again.

Octavius seems to notice his discomfort, for his brow furrows in a worried frown. “Jedediah, are you alright? You’re a little pale.”

“Nah, I’m fine,” he deflects, eying his frappe suspiciously. “Let’s just go, yeah?”

Just for good measure, he slings an arm around Octavius’ shoulders as they get up to leave the mall. Octavius laughs and leans into his side; the twitchy feeling in his chest settles ever so slightly.

*

**+1.**

Out of the corner of his eye, Octavius is lounging on the couch in the last of the warm afternoon sunlight, lazily browsing through _Julius Caesar_. This is, what, the tenth time he’s caught him rereading that book?

Jedediah wonders when he started counting.

When did he start noticing the brown of Octy’s eyes, the way they crinkle when he smiles? The way Octavius leans backwards when he laughs? When did he start to lean into his careless touches?

On the couch, Octavius shifts, the sunlight catches his hair, and Jedediah feels his breath catch in his throat.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

*

“Hey, um, Octy?”

“Hm?”

“What are we?”

Octavius quirks an eyebrow.  

“Like, friends, roommates?” Jedediah shrugs helplessly. “We share food, we have matching pyjamas, hell, we even sleep together, sometimes, an’ all of that’s normal for us. What _are_ we?”

What happens next is this. Octavius closes his book, takes his glasses off.

“I don’t know, Jed,” he says quietly, and there’s a light in his eyes, one that’s cautious and hopeful and open all at the same time, and _oh_ , Jed thinks he might finally understand. “What do you want us to be?”

*

 **Octavius Gaius** is now in a relationship with **Jedediah Smith**.

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** , **Amelia Earhart** , **Larry Daley** and **10 others** like this.

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** !!!!!!!

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** FINALLY

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** AT LAST

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** I’M SHARING THIS WITH MY WHOLE GODDAMN FACEBOOK TIMELINE

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** @ Amelia Earhart @Larry Daley @Sacagawea @Theodore Roosevelt ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS THESE TWO FUCKERS FINALLY OPENED THEIR EYES AND WOKE UP

 **Shepseheret Ahmes** Ahkmen! Language! >:(

 **Shepseheret Ahmes** But congrats dear. I’m sure you two will make a lovely couple ❤

 **Jedediah Smith** Yes Ahkmen. Language. u_u

 **Octavius Gaius** Thank you for the well-wishes Mrs. Shepseheret :)

 **Amelia Earhart**!!! This is a cause for celebration!!!

 **Attila** Daiyam

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** He says ‘good’.

 **Ahkmenrah Merenkahre** And sorry mum :( @Shepseheret Ahmes


End file.
